And now… we wait.

I had my blood drawn for my Beta (pregnancy test) at 10 am. I should have the results within 2 hours from that time, though I realized that would be noon, and with my luck, the nurses will go to lunch and I won’t hear until 1 or 1:30 pm.

No matter, as we aren’t feeling very optimistic. I am a certified Pee-on-a-Stickaholic and have done several home tests up until two days ago. They were all negative. My well meaning friends keep telling me it’s too early, that there’s still hope, but at this point, we don’t feel very hopeful at all. Today, for the most part, will be closure, I believe.

I’ve read my share of “negative home pregnancy test (HPT) but positive Beta!” stories, but I just don’t feel that we are that lucky.

I would love to be wrong.

Skip will be coming home from work soon, he hasn’t decided if he’ll come home before or after the results. It will be nice to have him here, though, as even though I’ve done a fair amount of crying already, I think that getting the “official” results is going to hit hard.

We’ve talked about what’s next, and we think we want to try again. Because we have some meds leftover and won’t need to do the preliminary testing again, it would only cost us about $10,000 for another try (ha, “only”). I’ve already been checking credit card balances, home equity line of credit balances and everything else we have to try to figure out how to do it again. It looks like we’d have to raise about $2,500 if we used what little we have plus maxed out our lines of credit. We’ll see what happens.

For the next hour or so, I will believe I am pregnant. And perhaps, by the grace of God, I will get the call and find out that I really am. I can only hope. There is no need for talk of “next time” just yet.

Stay tuned.