23 weeks 4 days — Worse than I Thought
Well, we had another ultrasound and appointment today. I wish I could say it went well, but it really didn’t. One of the good things was that Baby A’s placenta is no longer completely over my cervix — it’s now 5 mm away. Granted, it needs to be at least 2 cm away to be allowed to try for a vaginal birth, but that fact that it moved at all is great.
The first issue is the “bright spot” on Baby B’s heart. I’ve been assured that he has no other markers of problems (this spot is often associated with Down’s Syndrome) and it’s most likely “nothing” but the only way to know for sure is to do an amniocentesis or wait until he’s born. I have no interest in an amnio, though a tiny part of me almost considered it just to have one less thing to worry about if it came back normal. We’ll just have to have faith that because he has no other markers, that he’s likely perfectly fine.
The main issue, however, is their growth. Baby A measured spot on again, measuring 23w4d and is 1 pound, 4 ounces. Overall, he’s in the 30th percentile for growth, but because he’s been consistent in his growth (hasn’t slowed or sped up), he’s doing well.
Baby B is now measuring 24w6d and is 1 pound 10 ounces. He’s gone from being in the 80th percentile to the 90th percentile. He’s obviously the “bigger” brother, but the boys are now more than 20% apart in their growth and so the doctor is concerned.
The discordant growth could be that one placenta is in a better position to get nourishment than the other, hence Baby B being so far ahead. It could just be their genetics. Whatever the cause, it needs to be watched and now I am being sent 2 hours south — to Seattle — to see a perinatologist.
I’ve only gained 15 pounds, which I was so proud of until today. There’s this book called When You’re Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads and the big deal is that for healthy babies, you should gain 24 pounds by 24 weeks (for a twin pregnancy). I had been trying so hard, but had been so sick for so long it was next to impossible. I talked to other twin moms on the message boards at Twinstuff.com and many didn’t have the “24 by 24″ gain and their babies were fine. So I reassured myself I was doing all I could and doing well.
So much for doing well. My doctor commented that because I started so small to begin with, 15 pounds wasn’t much and though he understood I have been very sick, I needed to try to eat more. He asked how my eating was and I explained that while I am eating, my eating in general is not great because I don’t like vegetables and many other things. I’ve always had a complex about my eating habits but no matter how I try, I don’t seem to be able to change them for the better. So you can imagine how I burst into tears when he suggested that my eating better and more might help Baby A catch up and get his fair share.
He assured me that I didn’t cause this, and that there’s no way to know what’s causing it, but he felt that if I could get more in me, that perhaps there’d be more for Baby A and he’d grow a little more.
Now Skip is worried and upset (as am I, of course) and I feel like it’s all my fault. If I’d just be able to eat more, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe if I ate better, this wouldn’t happen. I feel so guilty.
I am waiting to hear back from the hospital in Seattle to see when they will see me, but my OB is hoping it will be in the next two weeks. He said he just wants to make sure we’ve got a more experienced opinion and that we aren’t missing anything, and also thinks it will be good for me to establish a relationship with the doctors in Seattle should anything come up in the next 4-8 weeks.
I stopped through drive through on my way home and choked back some KFC popcorn chicken and fries. Great choice, I know. But at least I felt like I was doing something to help these babies.
Man, I’m scared.
ETA ~ Here’s our boys at 23 weeks and 4 days
Baby A
Same image as above, edited for the ultrasound challenged
Baby B
Same image as above, edited for the ultrasound challenged
I am so sorry you’re dealing with a less-than-great ob appointment. I know how hard it is not to worry when things are fine, and then when they have concerns, it is even harder. Don’t feel guilty. Seeing a peri will hopefully just be to ease your mind. Hang in there, eat up, and have a pep talk with your boys!
Many many hugs and prayers for you. I hope you get that appt soon. {{HUGS}}
Oh Sommer, I know you were hoping for a better report today but hopefully you will get to see the perinatologist soon and find out that things are okay. Don’t be so hard on yourself. How in the world are you suppose to gain weight when you were so sick. Hang in there.
Oh Sommer I hope everything is just fine. I’m sorry you have to worry like this, maybe the peri will have a better spin on things.
Hey my twin boys were almost 2lbs apart at birth. They actually were discordant after about 24 weeks but they didn’t know they were that discordant. That being said they were born at 38 weeks at 5 1/2 and 7lbs 2oz and just GREAT! Just eat lots and lots of protein! Your babies will be great!! Just keep cooking them as long as you can. That’s all you can do for them at this point. :)
Sommer, it’s not your fault. I’m sure your boys are just fine. You know, throughout all three of my pregnancies, I gained five lbs TOTAL with the first one. Yes, FIVE pounds! I lost weight in the beginning and just never gained much back because I was on a special diet for GD. My son was perfectly fine and my doctor didn’t have an issue at all with that. Then with my next pregnancy, I gained six pounds, I think. All, I’m saying is that it’s not uncommon to gain very little weight. If you were so sick in the beginning, you were losing weight and starting off at a negative number to begin with.
Oh, and I am not a healthy eater by any means, either.
I really think everything is just fine. It’s so hard and my heart goes out to you for everything you’ve been through to get this far. Be proud of yourself!
This is not your fault. I hope that your next appt goes VERY well. In the meantime, try to enjoy being pg, eat up and rest well. :)
this is totally not your fault! you don’t know for sure that the difference is even a big problem. i hope the visit with the dr in seattle helps calm some of your fears. in the meantime, try eating lots of nuts and cheese, cook with olive oil and butter. hth!
I hope all goes well at your next appointment.
(((hugs))) Try not to worry…
How about protein shakes? Lots of pasta with roasted veggies? Couscous? Wild rice? Does any of that sound good at all?
I wish I lived closer to you — I would totally come cook for you!
Hey Sommer Have you tryed smoothies, shakes ect. or getting a fruite juicer and make some juice conkoctions (sp?) that you’d like? You can throw so much in a smoothie and it tastes great + you are getting lots in ya (frozen berry’s fruits of all kinds, protein powder, yogurt, wheat germ even, you don’t even notice it.)
If they have those juice bars in the US, you could try and chock down a shot or 2 of wheatgrass. So good for you and you just have to do a shot… just some thoughts.
Things will work out.
At this point, I wouldn’t worry too much about healthy…just more about intake. Eat whatever sounds good. Are there any supplement type things you like? I’m thinking Ensure type things. I know it’s hard to eat – I can easily wander around most of the day wondering what to eat because nothing sounds good.
I read about several cases of bright spots on the baby’s heart and after seeing the peri they turned out to be nothing and the spot resolved on its own later on. I hope you get this reassurance once you see the peri.
Weight gain is also hard for me and I am not pregnant. What has helped me the most is shakes made in the blender with very cold Vanilla Ensure Plus (the plus one has more calories!), ice and frozen fruit. I like strawberries or mango better. Sometimes I even add ice cream and it tastes good also. I bet Calista will love them too! ;)
I know doctors have to tell you things, but I swear sometimes they add to the guilt we as women tend to put on ourselves.
I was told I ate too much and that her growth and huge size ( which she ended up not being) was my fault. My first OB in Burbank, Ca said she would be over 9 1/2 lbs. She was 8lbs 3oz~!
I hope everything goes smoothly and maybe the doctor in Seattle can help ease your mind.
Let me know if you do come down!
Thinking of you and hope that all your positive thinking is spot on and that everything will even out. Now, go drink a milkshake!
Hang in there! I am sure it’s hard not to worry, but you have made it this far. I am sure the boys will be fine and pray they will stay strong. You haven’t done anything wrong and don’t feel bad. You are a great mom and it will all be worth it when you are holding those precious little boys! **HUGS** Will be praying for you, the boys and your family.
(((Hugs))) I’m sorry. Try not to blame yourself. It’s not your fault! (((Hugs))) You and your boys will be in my prayers!
Sommer, everyone’s right… this is not your fault. You have been doing the best you can. Now you know that you will have to literally force yourself to eat more, and there is no one here who doubts you will do just that.
Yolanda’s advice about the Ensure Plus was good advice. I used to work in a hospital a LONG TIME ago and that was the staple then to get the geriatrics to bulk up. Mixing it with fruit and ice like people have suggested will make it even better.
Finally, thanks for helping me out… I’m one of the “ultrasound challenged” (although I got Baby B right!).
((Hugs)) Sommer! Just remember that they are growing well! They aren’t BEHIND in growth, and that is a great thing!!
I agree…just get in the calories. Don’t stress about the healthiness of the items. Eat what you like and what you think you can keep down!
Good luck!
I’m sorry you have something else to worry about Sommer! I had similar issues with weight gain with my twins (me, not the babies though) and what got me through it was drinking Boost Plus. It had added calories and was easy to keep down if I drank it COLD. My mom also recently was very ill and in order to catch back up, drank the ensure version. I would highly suggest it b/c it is full of vitamins etc, plus calories, so it is not the empty calories of fast food etc. so you can count on the fact that the babies are definately benefiting from it.
Hi Sommer! Just wanted to send you and your boys some positive vibes… I am SO SORRY that you have to go through all of this worry. Just when you think things are looking up, you get hit with something else. I just can’t even imagine how frustrating that must be.
And seriously, this is TOTALLY not your fault. I know how much you love those boys and that you are doing everything in your power to gain weight and give them nutrition. Please try not to feel guilty – I think you are doing a WONDERFUL job.
I am rooting for you!
Trust me. Those babies are going to take your nourishment whether you eat or not. That is why some women get Hypermensis. Basically they start to starve and the babies are totally healthy! And you certainly don’t look sickly. I have talked to my sister about this before (she works in L&D) and she said that the women really do look sickly (like they are starving) when they get the hypermenesis really bad, but the babies are always fine. I don’t think that you not eating as much caused the babies to have different growth paterns. I think it is either the placenta issue or a difference in genetics. They are fraternal after all.
Hang in there! I will be praying for the 3 of you!
I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave and take all this pain and worry away for you. Sommer, you and your babies will remain in my prayers as always.
Now, PLEASE don’t go beating yourself up over this. You’re killing me! It is NOT your fault. (btw – Binging on KFC and other fattening food should be a pregnancy luxury not a food “sentence”!!) Eat frequently and what you can tolerate best… take your vitamins, drink lots of fluids and get lots of rest!!!
Your body is resilient and will take care of those babies first, even before you. So you need to take care of you!! That means no more STRESS!! That’s it missy ;) It’s just R&R for you — do I need to come up there???
I’ll also tell you that the difference in the size of your twins could just be boring old genetics as was the case for my sister’s twins. It took YEARS to realize it because the doctors of course put them through all the paces of testing etc… but finally at 7 years old, everyone agrees that Luke is small like the E family and Nate is large like the L family! ;)
love and hugs to you and the babies,
L