Day 5: Meeting My Boys for the First Time

My blog is going to be all out of order for a while as I post new updates and then post previous days’ updates when I have time. Today the boys are 5 days old, so that’s where I’ll start this evening.

We arrived in Seattle at about 3:15 pm today. I am still extremely sore and the 2+ hour ride left me cramped and swollen. Skip got a wheelchair for me and we got everything together to head into the NICU so I could finally meet my tiny sons.

We got up to the NICU unit and Skip showed me how to sign in and then how to scrub in. I was (and am) so impressed how quickly he’s figured it all out, because even just washing my hands properly was overwhleming to me!

He wheeled me to Nate first. As soon as I got a glimpse of him in his isolette, I began to shake and cry. He is so very tiny. I knew he was small, and I tried to imagine just how small, but what I tried to imagine was not near what I saw — a perfect, tiny human being, lying in his isolette, covered in wires and cords.

After my first glance at him, Skip decided he needed to back me into the room, and that 10 seconds of moving backwards into the room and not being able to see him felt like forever. Skip videotaped as I just cried and looked at him.

I pulled myself out of the wheelchair and Skip showed me how to “gel in” (another sanitizing procedure) and then he opened the isolette. I was able to reach in and caress him. His head and hair was so soft, and his hands so tiny. I just touched him, talked to him and stroked him. I didn’t want to leave for a second, but I also needed to see Ace.

We went over to Ace’s isolette (he’s a few cubicles down from Nate right now) and he is even smaller than his brother. He is also a spitting image of Calista when she was born. It was like looking at her as a newborn, in miniature.

Ace’s nurse asked if I wanted to hold him, and I did. I got in a chair and took off my shirt so we could do “Kangaroo Care”, where you hold the baby skin-to-skin. He fussed and wiggled a bit, and he is so light and tiny I was afraid I’d somehow break him.

He squeaked a little and made some smacking noises and pawed at my chest. Then he found a comfprtable spot and snuggled in for a snooze. From time to time, he would open his eyes and look up at me, and then go back to sleep. I held him this way for a half an hour.

Mommy and Ace together for the first time
Ace and I during our first moments together

Ace went back into his isolette and we went back to see Nate. Until today, Nate has not been held at all, other than when the nurses move him. I got to be the first to hold him. We did Kangaroo Care like I did with Ace and again, he fussed a bit, found his place and snuggled in.

Mommy and Nate together for the first time
Nate and I together for the first time; Nate’s first time being held

Both of them are so tiny and soft, I just caressed them and kissed them and tried to memorize every move, every sound and every touch between us. When I held them, there was no pain for me, it was like nothing else in the world existed for a moment.

After I held Nate for about half an hour, Skip held him for the first time and I pumped some milk for them. They are up to 13 cc per feeding and to give an idea of their progress, they were taking just 8 cc (Ace) and 10 cc (Nate) yesterday. They need to reach 33 cc per feeding before they can come back to Bellingham.

Also, Nate is off of his CPAP. He now just has the nasal prongs to deliver him oxygen, and it’s not even on all of the time. He’s done with his bili lights as well. So he has just the nasal prongs, feeding tube, and IV. Ace only has a feeding tube and IV.

It is amazing to me how well they are doing. I will go back and write about their delivery and the complications that I had following at a later time, but I will glady take all of the pain and suffering necessary if it means that they will have a smooth ride through the NICU. They don’t deserve any more than they’ve already been through, and if I can go through it for them, I certainly will.

Now I understand why Skip has been having such a great time while he’s been in Seattle, as I can’t wait to go back tomorrow and see and hold them again.

Speaking of which, how could I forget? I got to change Ace’s diaper today. What a challenge! Skip videotaped (and laughed) as I learned how to do it. He seems so fragile, but he sure did fight me on getting his legs straight and letting me put the diaper on him! It took me forever to get it done and Skip thought that was pretty funny (he’s changed several diapers already). I thought I did well for a first go at it, though. :)

We are now resting and just waiting to go back in the morning. We have been so fortunate as to have a place to stay during this time. Our dear friend Lindsay has a friend who owns a condo in Seattle. They normally rent it out but it happens to be vacant until November 9th, so Lindsay’s friends gave us the key and said we can stay until their renters come.

These are people who have never met us, people who would not know us if they ran into us on the street. Yet they so generouly gave us the key to their condo and not only did they do that, but it is an absolutely GORGEOUS place. Beautiful hardwood floors, furniture, tilework, and it is on the 17th floor in downtown Seattle so as I type, I can see the space needle. And I’m not talking, “There it is, waaaaaaaaay over there”, I’m talking I can SEE it — I can see the elevator as it goes up and down and can see people up at the top. It’s amazing.

Calista is with Lindsay and her family and will hopeuflly join us on Friday night or Saturday morning. It is hard to be missing her when the boys need us, but she’s doing a remarkable job of dealing with all of the turmoil and change and I can’t wait until we are all together as a family.

That’s it for tonight. I am going to try to post some pictures later, and keep an eye out at as Skip has been doing a great job of sharing photos and his thoughts on this amazing journey.

46 Replies to “Day 5: Meeting My Boys for the First Time”

  1. Deidre, aka Piccolo, from the Twinspiration group here. Wow, Sommer. Congratulations on the birth of your sons — these pictures of you holding each one of them so close are incredibly precious. Both Ace and Nate look like they’re right at home. And indeed they are. Congrats again.

  2. I am so filled with joy for you right now! The picture of you holding Ace made me cry immediately. And then to know that you got to hold Nate, too, and to be the first to do so…it’s wonderful.

    You two are amazing how you are coping with all life has thrown your way. Enjoy every moment with those precious boys. Soon you will five be together and what a joy that will be.


  3. Oh Sommer! Congratulations on their safe (but early) arrival. Your update brought tears to my eyes. I hope they continue strongly and they are able to come home with you soon. That is so lovely about your friend’s friend letting you stay in their condo – there are some truly nice people in this world hey? Can’t wait to hear more updates!

  4. A beautiful recount Sommer…the shots of you with your little guys are incredible. I’m so happy for you all!

    :) Allison

  5. Congrads to your family. The boys are very handsome. Your blog is so beautifully written, I aways feel as though I am there. Those tender first moments are amazing. when I see them I think “wow” just “wow” Great job sommer and skip!

  6. Aw, Sommer, this brought tears to my eyes. I’ll continue to pray for the boys. SO glad to hear that they’re doing so well!

  7. Sommer, I am so very happy for you. I have tears streaming down my face after reading this entry. The boys are just precious!

  8. I am so thrilled that you are finally able to be with your babies. I love reading all the updates and can’t wait to hear more. The boys are beautiful.


  9. Oh Sommer I’m so happy for you, Skip and Calista. I’m in tears reading your post today. I can’t imagine how full your heart must have felt when you held those tiny little boys for the first time. I hope the time goes quickly and they are home with you before you know it!

  10. Sommer! I have tears! I rushed in this morning to see if you had pics! You are such a great Mommy and I am sorry for you having such a scare, but I am glad the boys are here and safe and you are all together as it should be.
    Enjoy your family – you so deserve it!

  11. Adorable pictures! Adorable boys! You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Remember to take care of YOU too during this time. Calista and the boys need a healthy and strong mommy.

  12. oh sommer – i’m one hand typing here … but i just had to comment … i am sooo happy for you and your new big family. the pictures are amazing. love shines through them. sincere and heartfelt congratulations to you all. thanks for keeping us updated and enjoy your time with the boys.


  13. I can not stop sobbing when I read about you and your boys… the pictures are amazing. Congrats a million times over and continued thoughts and prayers for your family.

  14. Sommer-
    those pictures are amazing- I am in tears ( of JOY!!!) for you and the boys-

    What an amazing day for you to hold the boys and love them from the outside-

    Congrats and please keep up updated we are all pulling for for you healthy babies

  15. Sommer, yea! on finally seeing your boys! I remember the first time I changed Bryce in the NICU. He was so small he didn’t have a “butt”….he had no body fat!

    You’re boys are doing great! They will be home before you know it!

  16. Oh Sommer!!!! What precious pictures and moments for you and your family. I have tears of happiness in my eyes for all of you.

  17. Awww, Sommer, your post made me cry. The boys are beautiful and I’m so happy for your family. I’ll be praying they have a fast and easy time in NICU and you can all be home together soon. ((Hugs))

  18. Sommer~

    You are amazing! I am in tears reading this, and I am so very happy for you. The pictures are priceless. I am glad you are feeling a little better. (((HUGS))) Your boys are beautiful!

  19. I want to Congratulate you and your family of the arrival of your boys. I am glad to hear they are doing well and are both healthy. They are very good weights for being born at that time. Enjoy every minute you can with them because it does go by fast. Good job momma!!!! : )

  20. Oh Sommer, I am so glad you have finally got to meet and hold your precious little babies. They are doing amazing and so are you. I hope things continue to go well and you are all back in Bellingham soon.

  21. Sommer ~ The pictures of you and your boys are absolutely precious. Your journal entry gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. I am so very happy to hear that your boys are doing well and am overjoyed that you are now with them. Continued prayers and positive thoughts for your family. I hope they boys are able to come home soon.



  22. Congrats Sommer, Skip and Calista! Ace and Nate sound like they made a grand entrance…glad to hear that mom and both boys are doing well. (and dad too!) Your blog made me cry…so wonderful to hear such an amazing story. The pictures are priceless. Thank you so much for sharing your life with all of us. Sommer, glad your 2 new ‘chicks’ are now with you. ((((HUG))))

  23. Sommer – I am so thrilled to read your story and how well it’s all going for the boys. CONGRATS!!! They look great and it sounds like they are doing so well. I’m sorry you had complications and needed a second surgery. I wish you a speedy recovery.

    I am in the hospital with preeclampsia, waiting to be induced. The Sully twins will be here in the next 24 hours or so at 34 weeks. I’m nervous and worried for them, but they assure me that all will be fine.

    Take care of you and your family. I guess we’ve got us some October babies huh? :)

  24. Sommer,

    You have brought tears to my eyes. I can imagine how you feel to see such little people. I sit here and remember the time with my twins.


  25. WARM FUZZIES!!! So glad to hear you finally got to hold your babies. I know that they needed that as much as you did.

    Take care.

  26. Wow. I am just in awe and sitting here at my desk in tears. I am so happy for you and your whole family, Sommer, and just can’t believe that you finally have those two gorgeous boys to love. Congratulations to all of you! I’m sending all of you a bunch of “get well and get home soon” vibes. Take good care. –Ali

  27. Count me as another with tears! Congrats on the birth of your beautiful baby boys, Sommer! Sounds like they are doing great. I pray they will continue to do well and come home soon.

  28. Oh Sommer! This is just such a moving entry I am just a wreck reading it! LOL! The girls have both been sick and pukey, and I’ve barely even been at work so I’ve missed so much of what’s gone on with you and c-moms!

    I am so happy for you all! Wish I could be there to help you as I would be glad to in a new york second!! Such precious little miracles you have!

    Enjoy your visits with your boys! You will all be home soon and this will be a memory! I can wait for that day for you! *HUGS*

  29. Congratulations Sommer, Skip and Calista,

    Welcome to the world Nate and Ace!

    They are so beautiful. I remember the feeling of having a baby feel like it would float out of your arms. It does not last for long, they will be healthy little chunky monkeys soon.

  30. Your post was so moving. I am so happy you were able to be reunited with your boys. I pray that you continue to heal well and your boys continue to grow and get stronger so you can all go home soon and start your life as a family of 5! Congratulations Sommer!

  31. I just went and looked at Calista’s pics from the day she was born, and you are right! Ace looks just like her! Hope you are having a great day with the boys!

  32. My eyes are filled with tears of joy. I am so happy for you guys. I can’t wait to hear when the whole family is home together.

    Love to you all,

    Brian, Kathy & Nick….and two to come

  33. Oh sweetie. I know it’s an overwhelming experience. The boys are doing so AMAZING!! Wow. 5 days old and off billilights? No CPAP? That’s incredible.
    Preemies are a special breed; they are tough little babies. I know they seem fragile but, trust me, they’re very, very strong.
    I know that first hold must have felt like forever and gone in an instant.
    I’m praying for you and your boys to be back home soon.

  34. WOW I cant believe it! I am so excited for you and know that my family has you in our prayers! God bless you all!!


  35. Congratulations on the birth’s of your 2 precious son’s!! I’m so happy you have finally been able to hold them, and sending you lots of P&PT that you are all reunited as a family soon!! Speedy recovery to you!


  36. Sommer – I’ve been an avid blog reader, but this is my first comment. I just wanted to thank you for sharing this journey with us! It’s been amazing to read, and to see the boys here now…it brings tears to my eyes! Congratulations, they are beautiful.

  37. Being NICU parents is a tough road to travel, but it sounds like you and Skip are doing an amazing job. My best wishes to you and your family…

  38. Congrats Sommer on the safe (and early) arrival of your preciously adorable boys!! They sounds like such fighters! Go GO GO!!

    I’m so glad you are able to hold and love the precious boys you’ve been waiting for! God bless you all!!

  39. Sommer,
    Thank you for sharing such an intimate moment in your life with us. You have brought tears of joy to my eyes. I cannot express how happy I am for your family, I’ve kept up through your journey over the past few years trying to expand your family and I cannot believe the day has come that you are finally holding the new lives you so desperately fought for. I’m sure all your children will feel that love for the rest of their lives. They are fortunate to call you Mom. Congratulations does not suffice.

    All the Best,
    Michelle (Sapwell)

  40. Wow! I always knew you were a great writer, but you capture everything that has happened over the past week with such awesome imagery! I feel like I was there! ;) Sounds like you have some amazing support in your friend Lindsay and her friends that are letting you stay in their place! I am so glad you finally got to have those initial special moments with your boys! When Sean was born via c-section I didn’t get to hold him for about 3 hrs. and I thought that was a long time… You are so brave and strong! Hang in there and congrats again! Love, Kathy :)

  41. Sommer and Skip,

    We send our love and thoughts from PA. The boys are precious and Calista is a special big sister!! Congrats and take care of yourselves. We can’t wait to hear when the five of you are home together!!


    Kelly, Cecil, Cecil, and Colin

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