The One Thing
The one thing I hate about being a mom is that everyone else comes first. Not only that, but everyone else seems to get to put themselves first. Where does that put me? Dead last.
I was in tears last night because all I looked forward to all day was LOST. I wanted to watch the season premier. Guess who didn’t get to see the season premier? You guessed it… Mom. Sure, it was on, but I was busy balancing the checkbooks so I can finish this financial assistance application for the University of Washington Medical Center bills we have. They only give you ten days to do it, and my ten days are up in a day or two, so I have to get it done.
So my day yesterday went like this:
- Get 5-6 hours of sleep, not consecutively
- Wake up, feed and change babies
- Take all kids downstairs
- Feed Calista breakfast, grab a quick bite for myself
- Make Calista a phone book with family phone numbers in it
- Feed and change babies
- Try to get babies to nap, but babies aren’t cooperating
- Fight with Calista because she waits until the babies are crying and then asks me for all kinds of things which stresses me out
- Feed Calista lunch, grab a quick bite for myself
- Take a few minutes to work on the checkbooks, all the while Calista is bugging me to play so I have to stop
- Feed babies while playing picnic with Calista
- Change babies
- Try to get babies to nap again
- Put on a TV show for Calista while I try to soothe babies
- Babies fall asleep, color pictures with Calista
- Skip gets home, time to feed babies again
- Eat dinner
- Clean up dishes, feed baby (Skip feeds Nate a bottle because there’s milk about to go bad)
- Fight with Calista because she won’t clean up her mess
- Clean up Calista’s mess because she won’t
- Take all kids upstairs, Calista gets ready for bed while babies get baths
- Feed babies while reading Calista bedtime stories
- Calista gets in bed, babies get in bed
- Take a 15 minute bath so as not to miss too much of the start of LOST
- Skip goes downstairs to “get a drink” which takes 30-45 minutes
- Try to get back to the checkbook, but now babies are fussing
- Skip comes back upstairs. Remembers that he forgot to email something that he had to do, so he goes BACK downstairs.
- Babies still fussing, no checkbook balancing takes place.
- Quick email takes Skip what feels like forever, I’m still soothing babies.
- Skip comes back upstairs, but he’s forgotten my medicine for the second time, so now I have to go get it myself.
- Get medicine, start crying, balance checkbook through all of LOST.
- LOST ends, I haven’t seen more than 5 minutes of it, checkbooks still not done.
- Skip falls asleep. Babies are sleeping. Balance checkbooks until midnight (and I didn’t even finish!).
Now don’t get the wrong idea, as Skip made dinner, fed Nate a bottle, dressed the boys after their bath, tucked Calista in, folded diapers and put a load of diapers in the wash. However, he also gets a 1/2 hour each way between home and work driving (ah, to just drive alone and hear music!), he gets a 1 hour lunch break and he takes breaks to go play ping-pong with his work friends. That’s at least 2.5 hours to himself right there.
Over the course of 16 hours, what time did I get for myself? A 15 minute bath! And what else did I get accomplished? I ALMOST balanced all of our accounts. That’s it. I missed the one thing I looked forward to all day (LOST), I didn’t get to spend time on my favorite website, or anything else that might have constituted “me” time.
Which leads me to this — how will I EVER work starting Monday? It’s going to be horrible. I get sick just thinking about it.
Ugh. Obviously, I am seriously stressed about starting work and maintaining the family. So stressed that I just realized it’s 5 pm and all I have eaten today is two Pop Tarts! I am writing as I bounce the boys in their bouncy seats, and if they ever settle down, I better get some food. And finish balancing the checkbooks. Not only do I have to have them done so I can do this application, but my appointment with the accountant is Tuesday, so I have to have everything in order for that, too.
Did I mention I also have mastitis?
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Wow, a really down day. I’m so sorry. I will tell you my secret for missing your shows. It’s DVR. It is a little more a month but completely worth it. I also missed LOST last night, but it was recorded. Along with Oprah. I only watch those and CSI. I once missed an entire season of CSI but watched most when I was sick for a few days and my son was in school. Heaven!
Big hug Sommer!! Hang in there! I know I don’t have anything to match you, but I understand. Sometimes I feel like I am a single parent and I just have one! I totally understand anything for you comes dead last! Sommer, remember this….you are a great mother and a strong person!
Awww…Sommer! I don’t have any answers for you, just ((HUGS)). Being a mommy is the toughest job in the world because you have to be in charge of everything but don’t get to put anyone in charge of helping you. Hang in there. I am sure it will be a tough transition back to work but you’ll settle into a routine eventually and you’ll look back on all this stress next time you’re stressed about something eles and think this was “nothing”. GOOD LUCK with your transition back to work, and finding SOME time to put yourself first!
Ah, the glamorous life of a SAHM. It really can suck the life out of you. Anthony (DH) does a lot around the house and for the kids, but like you said, he has that nice little work commute to himself, that lovely lunch break where he talks to other adults, and he gets to just fall asleep whenever at night, where I am the one who checks on the kids, make sure the dishwasher is loaded and running, basically “closes up shop.” But, he does do the bills which I have offered to take over repeatedly. Anyway, point being it is SO TRUE that the moms come last. I never get to watch the shows I follow unless it’s On Demand on cable or I can watch it online.
Best of luck on Monday. Are you at least cutting back on your workload now that you have to tend to the babies?
Oh Sommer! Things are at their hardest right now!! Looking back, things got much easier with my twins at around 6 months when they slept through the night. You have the added stress of an older child, which I can’t even imagine, but you are doing a great job!
Sommer – my heart goes out to you and you have my utmost respect. I remeber when I only had one baby and a toddler and it was virtually impossible to do anything else. Will you be able to get a mother’s helper in the afternoons – sounds like your only way out… or winning the lottery :)
sommer- thanks for posting this- I could have written it almost word for word… ( i dont have twins but I have three kids) after yet another night of no sleep dh is till asleep…. sigh…..
let’s go on holiday! LOL ( k or maybe on strike??) LOL
katya
I’m so sorry, Sommer. You are such a good mommy to your children and these days where they’re all so needy won’t last forever. ((((HUGS))))
The DVR helps me to feel in control of things, too. That way I can watch a half-hour show after tucking the older ones in bed while nursing the baby for his last feed.
Sommer,
My twins are just now 8 months old and the first 3 months were the hardest! My 5yo is a huge help… but I have to admit I look forward to taking her to school.. just as much as I look forward to picking her up! :) It will get much easier after the first 6 months. I recently went back to work and got a huge promotion! I was so afraid that I wouldn’t have time for everything… but us moms are so adaptable! We do what we have to do for our families no matter what! I admire what you have accomplished and been through. Please contact me if you need any advice or someone to listen to you! I’m just an hour south of you!
Tammy
yikes. You really have a lot on your plate. I’m sorry things are so stressful right now.
Big hugs!
Bummer! Hang in there, girl. Being a mom and wife are super tough, but one day you’ll be able to look back on these hectic times and feel so proud and fulfilled. Good luck with work tomorrow.
If you have a good internet connection, you can watch Lost online. It’s our favorite show, too!
Aaaaaawwwww Sommer {{HUGS}} – I only have 2 kids but I do know how you feel. I’m jealous the time my DH gets to himself too! He works away for one week out of the month and I’m so freaking jealous! I’ve come to the realisation (not that it makes it any easier to handle) that it’s just a woman’s lot – we are always going to put our families first. {{HUGS}} I’ll be thinking of you on Monday as you start work.
Big hugs Sommer!! that sounds like a really crappy day. I hope things have settled down for you as you are back to work now. Wishing you all the best!
Jennifer