Comments on: My Little Wildcat http://sommer.cronck.com/2009/05/01/my-little-wildcat/ The ramblings of a mom of three. Sat, 12 Nov 2011 19:09:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Gwen http://sommer.cronck.com/2009/05/01/my-little-wildcat/comment-page-1/#comment-2685 Gwen Tue, 05 May 2009 14:09:19 +0000 http://sommer.cronck.com/?p=833#comment-2685 I think part of the stress is questioning - questioning yourself, plus all the resistance you get from everyone else. Once you stop letting people in your head, start focusing on your instincts and the science of how brushing etc actually works (and remind yourself again that it has no bearing if he doesn't have SPD - what's the harm?) you will be much more positive. Many ups and downs to come - but so many more ups than downs at this point. I think part of the stress is questioning – questioning yourself, plus all the resistance you get from everyone else. Once you stop letting people in your head, start focusing on your instincts and the science of how brushing etc actually works (and remind yourself again that it has no bearing if he doesn’t have SPD – what’s the harm?) you will be much more positive. Many ups and downs to come – but so many more ups than downs at this point.

]]> By: Jennifer http://sommer.cronck.com/2009/05/01/my-little-wildcat/comment-page-1/#comment-2682 Jennifer Tue, 05 May 2009 11:40:14 +0000 http://sommer.cronck.com/?p=833#comment-2682 PS - I AM SOOOO SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG!!!! See what happens when a house of 4 children is finally quiet and Mommy gets time on the computer! ;-) PS – I AM SOOOO SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG!!!! See what happens when a house of 4 children is finally quiet and Mommy gets time on the computer! ;-)

]]> By: Jennifer http://sommer.cronck.com/2009/05/01/my-little-wildcat/comment-page-1/#comment-2681 Jennifer Tue, 05 May 2009 11:39:17 +0000 http://sommer.cronck.com/?p=833#comment-2681 Okay...first of all, I love reading your posts because although we don't know each other...we seem to have a lot in common and your posts make me smile. Reading your posts about you IVF journey and fundraisers is what really encouraged me to go down that road as well (I ended up with twins as well, born last year.) Now on to this post. Long story tying to be short...when my 5 year old was little, the Ped said that he was "The High End of a Hig Energy Child" and he referred us to EI. When he was around 18 months....the EI Coordinator thought that he had SPD. Aidan qualified for Speech and OT. We had a crummy OT who wasted our time but then got a new one for a few sessions before moving away. She taught us brushing, joint compressions, swinging, laying Aidan on the bed or couch and putting pillows on him and pushing them firmly onto him to give him input. I sympathize with all that you have to go through b/c I was the one avoiding friends who invited me out for lunch with their little ones b/c I knew Aidan would meltdown. I attempted it a few times and ended up leaving early just to go pull my car off on the side of the road to cry while he screamed like I was hurting him. I remember giving him Tylenol saying it was for his "teeth coming in" once. He's head butted me and gave me a bloody nose, etc. He had serious issues with transitioning from one thing to the next & it was as if his world was falling apart if we did something that deviated from what he wanted...even though he didn't know what he wanted. *Note: Aidan has a 15 month younger sister who sees and learns from him....and copies him to a T. I always KNEW something was wrong but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I didn't WANT something to be "wrong" with him....I just wanted to know HOW to help my little man. Life is hard enough as it is nevermind if he has an "issue" that we're not helping him with. Fast forward a little....before Aidan's 3rd BDay...we took him to see a Neurologist who diagnosed him as having Autism, very mild, hugh functioning. She set us up for a bunch of tests that after having them done....were not covered under insurance. >:[] The tests just determined that he's not prone to seizures like some Autistic kids are. Then a few weeks later he had his evaluation with the School Board to determine if he qualified for Preschool b/c his EI was ending when he turned 3. The Psychologist said that he had Asperger's Syndrome (high functioning Autism, very intelligent, lacking socially). >:/ Asperger's? Lacking socially? This is a child who (on a GOOD DAY) will greet everyone in the restaurant like he's running for public office........but then again - he did act a little inappropriate and ackward if we saw other kids at the park. Hmm? She said "like Bill Gates" & I thought, "Cool! My hubby will LOVE that!!" (My hubby is a Computer Programmer/web geek.) She continued with, "He may never get married or have a family & will require 24/7 attention forever." WHAT? WAS SHE CRAZY? WHO did she evaluate???? Not my boy....he just a few issues...and needs a little something & we just need to find out what that is. Anyway, he DID qualify under the "Autism" diagnosis but I HATED the school they wanted to send him to...I just had a very, very BAD feeling about it. They wanted to put him in a PLACE class.....where there were ALL Special Needs kids....and....not to sound mean....I thought that he should be in an environment with some kids that were not functioning at such a lower level than he was so that he could see a better example and strive to be better. Aidan didn't have THAT MANY ISSUES....he just needed some tweaking or something....like needing to be rewired...if that makes sense. I remember looking at him while he was sleeping when we were going through all of the diagnosis stuff thinking that I wish I knew what to do to help him. I would cry as I watched him in his peaceful slumber.......thinking that it must be so exhausting for him when he's going through his tantrums and meltdowns. Jump forward again: I DID NOT send him to that school to be in that class. I had him reevaluated once he turned 4 and he qualified for Integrated Place (a mix of some special needs kids and some "typical" kids). We had just moved so he went to a public school that offered the IntPlace class. Aidan had some issues there but overall was loving it....HE was loving it. Daddy and I thought that he acted WORSE there. We noticed his attitude getting worse and he seemed nasty. His teacher didn't seem like a Special Ed teacher, she was an a**. We ended up having to move AGAIN....just to the next city over but I begged and begged and begged for him to be able to go to a Public Montessory school in that area. Apparently the school is very hard to get into.....anyway, he got in...and let me tell you......it has been a God send. Aidan is doing AWESOME!!!!!! His teacher had the required parent conference with me and said that he is doing great and almost doesn't seem like he's on "the Spectrum". When I told her what the School Psychologist said about im needing 24/7 care and never getting married....she got so mad! She said, "Aidan? He's the type of kid that will be a brilliant doctor one day or even a President? He's very Social & Super Smart!" Aidan does have his "Autistic Days" as we call them where he's overly sensitive and inappropriate and it requres us to be very very patient. (Something in the waaay back of my mind is telling me to research the GFCF diet and that maybe Aidan has some issues b/c of an allergy that we're not aware of.) We have to remind ourselves on those hard days that Aidan chose US to be his parents and was sent to US because WE would do what's best for him and love him no matter what....and we were strong enough to handle this. We still do joint compressions occasionally to give him input...he loves it and requests it sometimes. When he was 2, we got him a mini bounce house that we set up inside the house so he could bop around, fall down & not get hurt, but give himself joint compressions with the bouncing, falling. We look at my hubby's best friend who FINALLY admitted that their 3 yr old son was dx'd as having stress induced rage/anxiety or something and the docs put him on the spectrum as well. The Spectrum thing is not ALL that bad. It's veeeery broad and covers a wide rage of issues from Rainman/Sam I Am....to Bill Gates examples. At least it qualifies them for school earlier. :) Sorry this was soooo long....I just wanted to let you know that YOU are your child's advocate. He needs YOU to be his voice with all of this.......and I'm right there with you about being able to afford services b/c we cannot. The IP class at the Public Montessori School was THE BEST thing that could ever have happened to Aidan...and our family for that matter, I don't know WHY I pushed for that school....I just had a feeling that's where he needed to be. :0) So, I'll leave you with what Aidan tells me, "Stop, Breeeathe, and Think Mommy!" ~Trust your instincts!!!!!! (((HUGS))) from a stranger but a loyal reader. ;-) Okay…first of all, I love reading your posts because although we don’t know each other…we seem to have a lot in common and your posts make me smile. Reading your posts about you IVF journey and fundraisers is what really encouraged me to go down that road as well (I ended up with twins as well, born last year.)
Now on to this post. Long story tying to be short…when my 5 year old was little, the Ped said that he was “The High End of a Hig Energy Child” and he referred us to EI. When he was around 18 months….the EI Coordinator thought that he had SPD. Aidan qualified for Speech and OT. We had a crummy OT who wasted our time but then got a new one for a few sessions before moving away. She taught us brushing, joint compressions, swinging, laying Aidan on the bed or couch and putting pillows on him and pushing them firmly onto him to give him input.
I sympathize with all that you have to go through b/c I was the one avoiding friends who invited me out for lunch with their little ones b/c I knew Aidan would meltdown. I attempted it a few times and ended up leaving early just to go pull my car off on the side of the road to cry while he screamed like I was hurting him. I remember giving him Tylenol saying it was for his “teeth coming in” once. He’s head butted me and gave me a bloody nose, etc. He had serious issues with transitioning from one thing to the next & it was as if his world was falling apart if we did something that deviated from what he wanted…even though he didn’t know what he wanted. *Note: Aidan has a 15 month younger sister who sees and learns from him….and copies him to a T.
I always KNEW something was wrong but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I didn’t WANT something to be “wrong” with him….I just wanted to know HOW to help my little man. Life is hard enough as it is nevermind if he has an “issue” that we’re not helping him with.
Fast forward a little….before Aidan’s 3rd BDay…we took him to see a Neurologist who diagnosed him as having Autism, very mild, hugh functioning. She set us up for a bunch of tests that after having them done….were not covered under insurance. >:[] The tests just determined that he’s not prone to seizures like some Autistic kids are. Then a few weeks later he had his evaluation with the School Board to determine if he qualified for Preschool b/c his EI was ending when he turned 3. The Psychologist said that he had Asperger’s Syndrome (high functioning Autism, very intelligent, lacking socially). >:/ Asperger’s? Lacking socially? This is a child who (on a GOOD DAY) will greet everyone in the restaurant like he’s running for public office……..but then again – he did act a little inappropriate and ackward if we saw other kids at the park. Hmm? She said “like Bill Gates” & I thought, “Cool! My hubby will LOVE that!!” (My hubby is a Computer Programmer/web geek.) She continued with, “He may never get married or have a family & will require 24/7 attention forever.” WHAT? WAS SHE CRAZY? WHO did she evaluate???? Not my boy….he just a few issues…and needs a little something & we just need to find out what that is. Anyway, he DID qualify under the “Autism” diagnosis but I HATED the school they wanted to send him to…I just had a very, very BAD feeling about it. They wanted to put him in a PLACE class…..where there were ALL Special Needs kids….and….not to sound mean….I thought that he should be in an environment with some kids that were not functioning at such a lower level than he was so that he could see a better example and strive to be better. Aidan didn’t have THAT MANY ISSUES….he just needed some tweaking or something….like needing to be rewired…if that makes sense. I remember looking at him while he was sleeping when we were going through all of the diagnosis stuff thinking that I wish I knew what to do to help him. I would cry as I watched him in his peaceful slumber…….thinking that it must be so exhausting for him when he’s going through his tantrums and meltdowns.
Jump forward again: I DID NOT send him to that school to be in that class. I had him reevaluated once he turned 4 and he qualified for Integrated Place (a mix of some special needs kids and some “typical” kids). We had just moved so he went to a public school that offered the IntPlace class. Aidan had some issues there but overall was loving it….HE was loving it. Daddy and I thought that he acted WORSE there. We noticed his attitude getting worse and he seemed nasty. His teacher didn’t seem like a Special Ed teacher, she was an a**. We ended up having to move AGAIN….just to the next city over but I begged and begged and begged for him to be able to go to a Public Montessory school in that area. Apparently the school is very hard to get into…..anyway, he got in…and let me tell you……it has been a God send. Aidan is doing AWESOME!!!!!! His teacher had the required parent conference with me and said that he is doing great and almost doesn’t seem like he’s on “the Spectrum”. When I told her what the School Psychologist said about im needing 24/7 care and never getting married….she got so mad! She said, “Aidan? He’s the type of kid that will be a brilliant doctor one day or even a President? He’s very Social & Super Smart!”

Aidan does have his “Autistic Days” as we call them where he’s overly sensitive and inappropriate and it requres us to be very very patient. (Something in the waaay back of my mind is telling me to research the GFCF diet and that maybe Aidan has some issues b/c of an allergy that we’re not aware of.) We have to remind ourselves on those hard days that Aidan chose US to be his parents and was sent to US because WE would do what’s best for him and love him no matter what….and we were strong enough to handle this. We still do joint compressions occasionally to give him input…he loves it and requests it sometimes. When he was 2, we got him a mini bounce house that we set up inside the house so he could bop around, fall down & not get hurt, but give himself joint compressions with the bouncing, falling.
We look at my hubby’s best friend who FINALLY admitted that their 3 yr old son was dx’d as having stress induced rage/anxiety or something and the docs put him on the spectrum as well. The Spectrum thing is not ALL that bad. It’s veeeery broad and covers a wide rage of issues from Rainman/Sam I Am….to Bill Gates examples. At least it qualifies them for school earlier. :)

Sorry this was soooo long….I just wanted to let you know that YOU are your child’s advocate. He needs YOU to be his voice with all of this…….and I’m right there with you about being able to afford services b/c we cannot. The IP class at the Public Montessori School was THE BEST thing that could ever have happened to Aidan…and our family for that matter, I don’t know WHY I pushed for that school….I just had a feeling that’s where he needed to be. :0)
So, I’ll leave you with what Aidan tells me, “Stop, Breeeathe, and Think Mommy!”
~Trust your instincts!!!!!!
(((HUGS))) from a stranger but a loyal reader. ;-)

]]> By: Ron http://sommer.cronck.com/2009/05/01/my-little-wildcat/comment-page-1/#comment-2679 Ron Sun, 03 May 2009 14:24:14 +0000 http://sommer.cronck.com/?p=833#comment-2679 Sommer, I am no expert on any type of disorder but I think you are looking in the right direction. SPD sounds like it but I was also thinking about Autism. Like I said, I am no expert and don't pretend to know anything about either SPD or Autism. But I have known some parents of SPD kids. Remember, you are the mom and you are more in tune with what is happening with your kids. If you feel in your soul that something isn't right, then something probably isn't. Continue to fight for your son and to figure out what it is. In the long run, you will feel better about yourself, no matter what is or is not diagnosed. Ace, Nate, and Calista have a great mom and dad. Keep on looking out for them just as you have been. Ron Sommer,

I am no expert on any type of disorder but I think you are looking in the right direction. SPD sounds like it but I was also thinking about Autism. Like I said, I am no expert and don’t pretend to know anything about either SPD or Autism. But I have known some parents of SPD kids.

Remember, you are the mom and you are more in tune with what is happening with your kids. If you feel in your soul that something isn’t right, then something probably isn’t. Continue to fight for your son and to figure out what it is. In the long run, you will feel better about yourself, no matter what is or is not diagnosed.

Ace, Nate, and Calista have a great mom and dad. Keep on looking out for them just as you have been.

Ron

]]> By: jen http://sommer.cronck.com/2009/05/01/my-little-wildcat/comment-page-1/#comment-2678 jen Sat, 02 May 2009 23:45:26 +0000 http://sommer.cronck.com/?p=833#comment-2678 I only spoke for myself when I said it was normal. I didn't mean to offend you at all. Around here, it IS normal. Everything you describe in this post. I think we are just trying to comiserate :) For all I know, all 3 of my kids have SPD. I didn't know what SPD was until my 3rd was born. The 2nd was a doozy. He would have an hour long tantrum if you suggested he try something new. He still does, to an extent. I let everyone talk me out of getting him evaluated... I suck. and I know I couldn't afford it either. Recently a friend of mine whose son has Autism suggested brushing and swinging to me. And when my 2nd was in the midst of it all, people all around me were skeptical and rolly eyed and "it's normal" but like you said it's not, it's kind of alarming actually. Hope you get him some help or the brushing and compression work for you. I only spoke for myself when I said it was normal. I didn’t mean to offend you at all. Around here, it IS normal. Everything you describe in this post. I think we are just trying to comiserate :) For all I know, all 3 of my kids have SPD. I didn’t know what SPD was until my 3rd was born. The 2nd was a doozy. He would have an hour long tantrum if you suggested he try something new. He still does, to an extent. I let everyone talk me out of getting him evaluated… I suck. and I know I couldn’t afford it either. Recently a friend of mine whose son has Autism suggested brushing and swinging to me. And when my 2nd was in the midst of it all, people all around me were skeptical and rolly eyed and “it’s normal” but like you said it’s not, it’s kind of alarming actually. Hope you get him some help or the brushing and compression work for you.

]]> By: Tara http://sommer.cronck.com/2009/05/01/my-little-wildcat/comment-page-1/#comment-2677 Tara Sat, 02 May 2009 23:28:54 +0000 http://sommer.cronck.com/?p=833#comment-2677 Sommer, I haven't seen the video, but I trust your judgment. Moms (and Dads) do know best...and its not as if you aren't experienced in the parenting department. It will be interesting to see if the rigorous schedule of brushing helps...I'm sorry you are going through this, but don't feel like you are over-reacting...you most assuredly aren't. Tara Sommer, I haven’t seen the video, but I trust your judgment. Moms (and Dads) do know best…and its not as if you aren’t experienced in the parenting department. It will be interesting to see if the rigorous schedule of brushing helps…I’m sorry you are going through this, but don’t feel like you are over-reacting…you most assuredly aren’t.

Tara

]]> By: Barb Desmarais http://sommer.cronck.com/2009/05/01/my-little-wildcat/comment-page-1/#comment-2676 Barb Desmarais Sat, 02 May 2009 23:02:49 +0000 http://sommer.cronck.com/?p=833#comment-2676 Sommer, first of all let me say you're handling this VERY well. Also, you're his mom and your instincts are probably right. There are tantrums and there are tantrums. Certainly it's normal for 18 month old toddlers to tantrum but if you're the parent, YOU know if it's beyond normal. Is there something he's eating or drinking that he might be allergic to? Do you see any kind of pattern? Some kids are much more sensative than others to any kind of change in routine. You'll find the source of this and it sounds like you're getting close. Sommer, first of all let me say you’re handling this VERY well. Also, you’re his mom and your instincts are probably right. There are tantrums and there are tantrums. Certainly it’s normal for 18 month old toddlers to tantrum but if you’re the parent, YOU know if it’s beyond normal. Is there something he’s eating or drinking that he might be allergic to? Do you see any kind of pattern? Some kids are much more sensative than others to any kind of change in routine.

You’ll find the source of this and it sounds like you’re getting close.

]]> By: Lisa Inversin http://sommer.cronck.com/2009/05/01/my-little-wildcat/comment-page-1/#comment-2675 Lisa Inversin Sat, 02 May 2009 21:25:39 +0000 http://sommer.cronck.com/?p=833#comment-2675 Sommer, hang in their babe... I know your research and what you're doing will eventually help the little guy! just listen to your heart and do what you think is best for you and him, not what other people may suggest or comment on. Sommer,

hang in their babe… I know your research and what you’re doing will eventually help the little guy! just listen to your heart and do what you think is best for you and him, not what other people may suggest or comment on.

]]>