Sliding



Well, things are going downhill faster than I had anticipated or hoped.  Most people who know me know that I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) through both of my previous pregnancies.  With Calista, it started at 6 weeks and was undiagnosed/unrecognized.  I ended up in the hospital, severely dehydrated with a migraine and unable to even keep water down.  I was scared and sick but I pushed through.  It lasted until I was about 20 weeks pregnant and then, thankfully, subsided.

With the boys, I was sick at 4 weeks and by 13 weeks had a PICC line in my arm, allowing me to take Zofran intravenously as well as hydration.  I had the PICC line until 28 weeks when I was by no means “better”, but well enough (and tired enough of the PICC line) to have it removed.  The boys were born just three weeks later.

I wondered how if would go this time.  I hoped and prayed I’d be spared the misery that is HG.  Women actually terminated wanted pregnancies – it’s that bad.

I started getting a little queasy here and there in my 5th week.  By my 6th week, it was getting worse and I asked for a prescription for Zofran “just in case”.  Now, in my 7th week, I am beside myself.

I lost a pound last week because I just cannot eat much.  The mere thought of food is nauseating.  I have fleeting moments of craving something, and I have to go with it in the moment, otherwise, I may not be able to eat for a long while.

Eating makes me ill.  Not eating makes me ill.  It’s a viscous, no-win cycle.  I’m scared to think this could get worse…  much worse.

I’ve been hanging out and reading at the Hyperemesis Education and Research Foundation website – http://www.helpher.org – to remind myself I am not alone and I will get through this.  It’s just so scary right now.  I have three kids to care for and full-time job.  I can’t afford to be sick.

I’m also waiting to hear back from my doctor to see what the next step is.  The Zofran isn’t going to cut it; it never did in the past, either, unless it was directly pumped into my bloodstream.  I hope I don’t have to go there again, but I will if I have to.

I haven’t even really told anyone how sick I am yet.  I tried to hide it from Skip last night, but I just started crying.  It’s terrible.  I was trying to be thankful to have this sign that my baby is growing and healthy, but I just want to EAT.

We haven’t even told the kids or our workplaces yet.  How do I keep my pregnancy a secret until we are ready to tell if I can’t function?

Man, I hope to hear from my doctor soon.


3 thoughts on “Sliding

  1. Congrats on the pregnancy. Prayers going out that thing turn around soon and that you might actually be able to enjoy this pregnancy.

  2. Wow girl!! How exciting for you!! After all you have been through. I remember watching your last video of taking a pregnancy test and you stating this would be last time you ever get to do it so you wanted to do something cool. Lol. I would have loved to seen your face when you took this one hahahah congrats!! I can’t wait to see ultrasound pixs etc!!

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