Two cookies and an apple

Two cookies and an apple.  That’s all I’ve been able to eat today.

I had an AMAZING week two weeks ago.  I felt so good.  I was ready to have my PICC line pulled!  I was cured!

And then I felt a little yucky on the 8th day.  And worse on the 9th.  I spent the 10th and 11th sobbing in my recliner and it just got worse from there.

First, I now have excruciating heartburn added to the mix.  And then I started waking up sick, when previously, I was pretty good in the mornings and would just get sick as the day went on.

I’ve been working 40 hour weeks through all of this.  Sometimes it’s from my bed, but I make sure I put my time in.  I schedule my meetings with my best times of day in mind and I go to them.

Until today.  I was sick before bed and up sick most the night.  By morning, it was all I could do to try to get out of bed.  I texted my supervisor that I was really unwell and didn’t know that I could make our 9:30 AM meeting – a meeting with a third party that is rather important and has been scheduled for weeks.

I hated sending that text but I couldn’t even get myself out of bed.  When she wrote back that we could reschedule, I just lost it.  Tears of relief and frustration came pouring out.

I had to text Skip next and ask if he could come home from work and get the kids ready and off to school, which he did.  I made it as far as waking up CJ and getting the boys some milk before I retreated to the bathroom, sobbing and dry heaving.  I have nothing to throw up.

Skip was so sweet as to clean the shower drain so the smell didn’t make me more sick, and he brought me an apple cinnamon cookie to try.  I choked it back and went back to sleep.

All have been able to eat so far are two cookies and 1/2 of an apple.  My head is throbbing and the nausea and reflux are overwhelming.

Today, I feel defeated and want my life back.  But most of all, I want to be well enough to enjoy what little time is left in my last pregnancy.