Up until now, I haven’t really posted the gory details of what is happening to me through this process. Maybe it’s time to start — I really haven’t heard too many stories about the yucky parts of IVF, so maybe I can warn the next person.
My hair is falling out, I am tired, having hot flashes and have had a headache for a few weeks, which started turning into migraines Monday. I feel like shit, I can’t concentrate, and I can barely work.
People keep asking me why I’m on the meds I am, why I do my shots the way I do, why my doctor does this or that. I keep trying to remind myself that everyone means well — everyone wants to help and everyone wants this to work. But it’s getting to be too much. I don’t want to doubt my doctor, I want to trust that he and his staff have been doing this for years and they know what they are doing. Just because my doctor does it different from others doesn’t make it wrong, does it?
I just want to get through this. I want the headaches to stop and I don’t want to doubt every thing that we are doing. I want this to work.
I feel like I can’t even complain because this is what I wanted. This is what I have to go through, I can’t complain that it sucks and makes me want to cry. I have to suck it up and keep going. I have to put the constant headache out of my mind, ignore the well-meaning advice that is stressing me out, and pretend I don’t notice that my hair is really coming out now.
I just don’t want to end up bald and not pregnant. Bald and pregnant, I can deal with. bald and not pregnant may send me over the edge.
Please let me get through this…
