What If?



Thanks to Kathy’s blog, I saw the current RESOLVE infertility (IF) education campaign taking part in conjunction with National Infertility Awareness Week (April 24 – May 1).  The gist of it is this: post a “What if?” question relating to IF in the comments of the Stirrup Queen’s blog now through April 16th.  Then they will choose 10 “What if?” questions and part two of the project/contest will be announced at that time.  No idea what part two will be, but I posted my question (#316):

What if those who are or who have suffered the pain of IF never spoke of it?

So many people for so many years were quiet about infertility.  I am not that kind of person (obviously) and thankfully, Skip is very open about it as well.  I am so grateful that the stigmas of infertility are disappearing as more people open up about it and put a name and face to infertility.  Without those who speak openly about their struggles, things would be very different.

  • Many people would feel alone.
  • Sufferers may not know all of their options.
  • Those who have not been through it would never know what it’s like.
  • Advocacy would be limited.
  • Progress might be slower.

For me, had I never stumbled across those first message board posts, and later blogs, about infertility, I might have never known all of my options both in treatment and funding.  I also might have entered the world of infertility naive and starry-eyed, which I am glad was not the case.

Had I never started my blog, I may have exploded from trying to contain the emotional turmoil.  People who found my blog and followed my story may have otherwise felt alone.  Those who learned things they never knew about infertility might have remained oblivious to the emotional, physical and financial burden it places on those who fight it.  I certainly would have never been able to raise the funds for our treatments, and would not have had the outpouring of love and support to carry me through the trials and failures, as well as the first few weeks after the boys’ somewhat harrowing birth and their NICU journey.

Without infertility, I would not be who I am today.  For that, I am grateful for all I’ve been through.  I hope that by participating in RESOLVE’s National Infertility Awareness Week, I can help others find solace, triumph, or – at the very least – compassion for anyone affected by IF.

Without those who posted and blogged about it before me, without being affected by infertility myself, without having started this blog, without going through failed IUIs and IVF…  I would not have my boys.  Those two were literally hand-chosen and given to me to nurture and love, and if others never spoke of IF, they might not be here.

To anyone who may be reading this and who is still waiting to be blessed with a child of their own, I hope that you, too, can someday say,

Thank you, infertility.


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