Finding Out

It’s hard for me to blog knowing I can’t publish them right now, as we’ve not told many people we are expecting again.  But I want to document things while they are fresh in my mind, so I will blog and save them until a time that I can share them with the world.

A few weeks ago, my period was due.  And then I realized I was a little late.  I checked my handy iPhone app (Period Tracker Deluxe, in case you’re interested) and it said I was two days late.

It’s happened before and I have been a few days late…  besides, I don’t know that anyone has a perfect cycle of the same length every time.

3 days late.  Hm.  I was trying to put it out of my mind, as I have taken many a pregnancy test in my day, and they are almost alway negative.  I was not going to waste my time or money, but I just kept wondering.

4 days late.  Seriously?  Ok, this is NOT like me.  I know people’s cycles vary, but really, MINE are pretty consistent.  But I also know we don’t get pregnant.  We just don’t!  I must just be having a weird month.  But I kept thinking about it and finally decided I would just test and get it over with.  That inevitable negative would cure me of my racing mind and I would likely get my period two seconds later.

I went to the mall to use a Victoria’s Secret gift card I had, but conveniently stopped at Target first and got the cheapest box of HPTs they had.  This is HUGE for me – I used to be all about the best of the best.  This time, I was all about cheap.

The Target restrooms are a little ick, so I went to the mall restroom (so much better, trust me!).  I thought for a minute about how I was going to feel if this test was positive, knowing darn well it would not be.  Would I be happy?  Scared?  Meh, I knew it was going to be negative, so I just peed on it.

Imagine my surprise when I put the cap on, laid it on my lap… and it was already positive.  Oh. My.

And then I just smiled.  A big, “Oh my goodness, what have we done?!” smile.

I pulled myself together and left the bathroom, working my way towards Victoria’s Secret in a daze.  How on EARTH was I going to tell Skip?  He is DONE.  D-O-N-E.  No more kids.  Finito.  Oops.  “He is going to FREAK,” is all I could think.

As I walked through the mall, I tried to call a friend.  No answer.

Then I saw another friend’s daughter.  I remember thinking, “I think that’s Ellen.”

“Yes, that must be Ellen.”

“I should say, ‘Hi’ to her.”

But I guess I was just staring at her in my stupor because soon I heard, “Sommer? Sommer!  SOMMER!” and turned to see my friend and Ellen’s mom, Lindsay, calling me.

I grabbed Lindsay by two shoulders and spun her around.  “Can we talk?”

She sent her girls into the store and said, “What’s up?”

And I just blurted it out: “I’m pregnant.  I just found out.  Like two minutes ago in the mall bathroom.”

Lindsay, in her usual Lindsay way, was just overjoyed and mentioned having been praying for a new baby to hold.

I thanked (?) her and told her Skip was going to flip out!!  But Lindsay, with a much clearer head than me, said it was simple.  She’d come watch the kids this evening and I could go out with Skip and tell him.

I called him, knowing he was making a fancy roast for supper, knowing he wouldn’t want to go out, and of course he didn’t want to.  I told him Lindsay would come after supper and he and I could go for dessert and he finally – reluctantly – agreed.

At supper, one of the first things Skip did was stand at the table and tell the kids he was so tired of them always fighting and being nasty to one another.  Uh oh.

After supper, I went to the bedroom to get ready, and Calista came running in with the dog, shut the door, and said, “I will protect you, Ellie!”

I asked what was going on and she said Ace had spilled a bowl of chocolate-syrup covered marshmallows on the floor and she was keeping the dog away from the chocolate.  Crap.

I get out there to see chocolate on the carpet and am concerned that this is NOT the best time to tell Skip we have a fourth baby on the way.  In the meantime, Ace dropped the marshmallows and chocolate – again.

We finally escape the chaos and head to Boulevard Park, a gorgeous bayfront park with a long dock -perfect for romantic walks and sunsets.

We walked for a long time.  We stopped and watched a train go by.  We watched people crabbing off of the dock.  We wandered for 45 minutes and I still hadn’t found the courage to tell him.

We finally went to sit on a bench on the hill that overlooks the bay, and soon it was starting to rain.  Crap.  I finally told Skip that I had an ulterior motive for bringing him out and I had something to tell him.

He said, “What?” and I started to cry.  And I couldn’t talk.

It felt like an eternity and I was just crying more, so I finally just said it.  “I’m pregnant.”

And he laughed.  He said, “What? How?!” and hugged me.

And that was it.  He did not throw himself into the ocean, he didn’t run away screaming, he didn’t cry.  He was just… laughing.

The relief I felt in that moment was immense.  I am happy about this.  So very happy.  I was just so scared he wouldn’t be.  But he is, and now here we are… 6w3d pregnant with our fourth.

Who would have thought?

Oh, and I never did use my Victoria’s Secret gift card that day.  ;)

3 Replies to “Finding Out”

  1. This is beautiful! It brought tears to my eyes!!

    I also wrote a bunch of posts that I didn’t initially publish. Still haven’t heard a heartbeat yet, and won’t till our ultrasound in two weeks. but I am blogging without our real names so my family won’t happen across the news accidentally. After good HCG counts at 4 weeks, I published them anyway. :)

    Here’s my “finding out” story for #2:

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