Well, things are going downhill faster than I had anticipated or hoped. Most people who know me know that I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) through both of my previous pregnancies. With Calista, it started at 6 weeks and was undiagnosed/unrecognized. I ended up in the hospital, severely dehydrated with a migraine and unable to even keep water down. I was scared and sick but I pushed through. It lasted until I was about 20 weeks pregnant and then, thankfully, subsided.
With the boys, I was sick at 4 weeks and by 13 weeks had a PICC line in my arm, allowing me to take Zofran intravenously as well as hydration. I had the PICC line until 28 weeks when I was by no means “better”, but well enough (and tired enough of the PICC line) to have it removed. The boys were born just three weeks later.
I wondered how if would go this time. I hoped and prayed I’d be spared the misery that is HG. Women actually terminated wanted pregnancies – it’s that bad.
I started getting a little queasy here and there in my 5th week. By my 6th week, it was getting worse and I asked for a prescription for Zofran “just in case”. Now, in my 7th week, I am beside myself.
I lost a pound last week because I just cannot eat much. The mere thought of food is nauseating. I have fleeting moments of craving something, and I have to go with it in the moment, otherwise, I may not be able to eat for a long while.
Eating makes me ill. Not eating makes me ill. It’s a viscous, no-win cycle. I’m scared to think this could get worse… much worse.
I’ve been hanging out and reading at the Hyperemesis Education and Research Foundation website – http://www.helpher.org – to remind myself I am not alone and I will get through this. It’s just so scary right now. I have three kids to care for and full-time job. I can’t afford to be sick.
I’m also waiting to hear back from my doctor to see what the next step is. The Zofran isn’t going to cut it; it never did in the past, either, unless it was directly pumped into my bloodstream. I hope I don’t have to go there again, but I will if I have to.
I haven’t even really told anyone how sick I am yet. I tried to hide it from Skip last night, but I just started crying. It’s terrible. I was trying to be thankful to have this sign that my baby is growing and healthy, but I just want to EAT.
We haven’t even told the kids or our workplaces yet. How do I keep my pregnancy a secret until we are ready to tell if I can’t function?
Man, I hope to hear from my doctor soon.